Tuesday, January 27, 2009

It's time for a little..............

Randomness......Long time, no random post. All serious and no randomness makes Beth a dull girl. I have been having randomness withdrawals....okay, maybe not withdrawals, but since I don't have anything else blog worthy to say today I thought that a little randomness may be in order..........read at your own risk preferably while drinking a strong cup of coffee.



First I would just like to say that I have been unaffected by the recent peanut butter scare. Even under threat of death, I continue to eat and love peanut butter.

Can someone tell me what sprucing up the National Mall has to do with stimulating the economy? Seriously. And while you are at it can you also tell me why they call it a mall? Can you shop there? No, so if we are going to spend all that money to "spruce it up", why don't we make it a real mall where people can actually purchase clothes, shoes and accessories? That, my friends, would stimulate the economy.

Also, would someone tell me why giving each American family $1 million dollars would not stimulate the economy? It would be cheaper than what they are proposing and it would pay off many delinquent mortgages thus eliminating the housing crisis. I think it's a brilliant plan. So, why didn't you people write me in as your candidate for President?

I just have to say that I believe Nancy Pelosi to be a forerunner of the anti-christ.

I like that Michelle Obama wears dresses instead of business suits all the time......that woman is like an amazonian. I thought their little girls were so cute in their little dresses and coats at the Obamathon that was the inauguration. Can you imagine being their age and living in the white house? Too cool.

I am still not happy that all our surrounding cities are placing video cameras at red lights. If you run the light, they take your picture and send you a ticket in the mail. I don't make a habit of running red lights, but should we really have to be on video everywhere we go? I just think this kind of thing is opening doors for big brother to watch us anywhere we go (even though I don't know exactly who big brother is or why he is called big brother) .

Blagojevich is a total nut. I cant believe Al Franken is even a contender for political office much less elected. The political scene in America gets stranger and stranger by the day.

If Bernie Madoff had made off with all my money, I think I might hunt him down and hurt him. Not kill him cause that would be wrong, but just mame him so that he would be in constant pain remembering what he did to me and all those other people who trusted him....but that's just me.

I watch one TV show all year. American Idol. This year, Lake has had a ballgame at 7:30 every night Idol has been on. Sometimes life isn't fair.



Yesterday, Kaden was watching a Disney movie and the characters were in a museum. The characters were walking with trepidation (that's my big word for the day) through this museum as "impending doom" music played. Kaden said, "Oooh No. They are in a museum and ALWAYS something terrible happens in a museum.....I am NEVER going to a museum!" I guess it's a good thing we aren't really cultured or sophisticated around here....he shouldn't have to worry since we don't frequent the museum scene.

Speaking of museums, when I went to Paris, we were in the Louvre and I was chastised by a "Museum Cop" for trying to take a pic of he Mona Lisa. What is up with that? Everyone in the world has already seen her and I cant even have a pic to prove I saw her in person?

I keep getting emails from people with weird names like "valkfyw892" and they want me to buy Viagra..........

I hate that Viagra commercials are on TV (and often), yet I will admit find them to be kind of funny. They always show grandma and grandpa hugging out in a field of daisies after a long bike ride......and then they give the warnings and side effects of the drug and then they tell the symptoms that require calling a doctor and I burst out laughing every time.........

My son has had lots and lots of homework lately....must be almost time for state standardized tests. Whatever happened to the good old days where if you didn't pass, they socially promoted you just so they didn't have to have you in class for another year? Not that I would know anything about that........I am just kidding, people! Only Kidding!!!! My son does have lots of homework, but he is an A student.

Speaking of the good old days.......I miss the days when you could call a business and talk to a real person or a real person who speaks English. Yesterday I had to call Sears to reschedule a delivery. It took me 20 minutes to finally get to speak with a human....my conversation went something like this:

Automated Computer with Woman's Voice: Thank you for calling Sears. Please say what department you need or wait for the tone to hear a list of departments.

(I listen to the list and find that Washers/Dryers is the department I need)

Me: Washers and Dryers

ACwWV: You said "Tires", is that right?

Me: No

ACwWV: Okay, let's try this again. Please say what department you need.

Me: Washers and Dryers

ACwWV: You said "Tires" is that right?

Me: NO!!!!! WASHERS AND DRYERS!!!! I SAID WASHERS AND DRYERS!!!!!!

ACwWV: Okay, let's try this again. Please say what department you need.

Me: (silence)

ACwWV: Okay, let me transfer you to an associate that can help you.

Associate: (in my best foreign Accent) Hello, this is Sanjay, how may I help you?

Me: disgusted, mad, wondering where the English speaking associates are and why I can never talk to a person FIRST..............after several "huh's?" and "excuse me's?" I finally got my delivery rescheduled............


Yesterday was cold and rainy here. This morning it was 62 degrees with gale force winds (okay, I added the gale force part, but the wind was very high). This afternoon it is supposed to snow...........do you see a pattern here? Yeah, me neither. What does the Bible say about "signs in the weather"? 62 in the morning and snow in the evening? Yeah, that has to be a sign.

Okay, sorry for the stream of consciousness that is this post.........for the two of you who are still awake and reading this.....Mom/Dad......I have one request of you both............send money.

18 comments:

Lisa said...

LOL - you have me rolling. :-)
Here's a tip, if you just start talking jibberish to the automated answering machines they can't understand you and you always transfer you to a human. Saves lots of time.
Blessings - Lisa

Eddie said...

Yeah, this is your Dad and I had to read it all. I really think you mis-communicated when you used the word stream of Consciousness. I think you meant stream of unconsciousness because I can't imagine you being awake and saying such things. Reminds me of sleep walking but in your case, sleep talking. Your just top notch and I love you dearly.
Dad

Jackie said...

You. Totally. Crack me up !

Have a good day !

Heather C said...

Craaaaaaaaaaackin' up! I loved your randomness!

Ok, I have a question, too. Why do those cialis commercials always end with them soaking in a bathtub? I have a hunch... but wouldn't wanna share it in mixed company. LOL!

I totally get your frustration with the "operators" - I feel the same way. Exactly.

Hey... run for President in 2012... I'll vote for you :)

ocean mommy said...

I'm with Heather C....You've got my vote. :) As long as your first State of the Union address is in the random list format. :)

Love you girl
steph.

Kelly S. said...

OBAMATHON hahahaha
My husband and I actually went to the Inauguration in 2005 for our 10 year anniversary. It sure was ALOT different and alot cheaper.

totally agree on Pelosi

I think my ETN accent disqualifies me from using those automated phone things. From now on Im taking Lisa's advice.

Anonymous said...

I read (laughed...I can't do the strike thing) all the way to the end...but I won't be sending any money!
Angela

Oh, and one can only hope Steve wasn't there Sunday so they couldn't gang up on ya!

Mari said...

I love your random posts and I agree with them! Those same people are e-mailing me about Viagra too.

Sue said...

If you love American Idol, go to my blog, scroll ALL the way to the bottom and see if you recognize anyone...

Leave me a comment on my blog if you have a mind to! Would love to have ya!

Sandi Hixson said...

i absolutely love your randomness!!!

alliekat said...

First of all, why would you leave your money in the hands of someone whose name sounds like "made off"? Shouldn't that be a clue or at least a premonition???

Secondly, the viagra commercials...I always laugh when I see them but I really laugh when I think about the group of people sitting around a table thinking of ways to advertise the stuff. It has got to be hilarious.

The red light cameras are a scam! I have been scammed! Once they install the cameras they shorten the yellow light! Then I understand that they pay another company to maintain and then the city only gets a cut of the money.

I'm just saying....

Denise said...

i read the whole thing too, can mom and dad send me $

Greg P. said...

You should have said "yes, tires". Then you wouldn't have been aggravated and would not have had to talk to Sanjay.

Life is simple when you cooperate.

Tony C said...

You really should post more often because your post are great!

I like the $1 million idea and completely agree about the traffic cameras. I pass through 1 twice a day and find my focus more on the camera and less on traffic.

God bless!

Fran said...

Oh you crack me up.

Heather said...

Your random posts always make me laugh so hard! I totally agree about Nancy Polosi, BTW....and the Obama girls ARE adorable!

Stephanie said...

1. I would for sure vote for you for President.
2. I will eat Peanut Butter until it kills me.
3. American Idol is the only show I watch all year too. But not until the final 12.
4. If you are doing that much homework, you might as well be homeschooling and save gas money.

Love your posts.
Steph

Mommyluann said...

Al Franken....???? just plain needs the Lord....did I ever tell you that he brought a kid to Bob Jones, pretended to be an iterested Guardian in the kid attending the school....really wanted new "material" for a book.....the school was so gracious when they found out..he was making a mockery..but I hate to tell him..what he was Mocking was not BJU...it was the Lord....he gives me the creeps right up their with Keith Olberman from MSNBC and Nancy Pelosi!