Tuesday, September 30, 2008


First of all, if you will notice, many of my favorite blogs have been inadvertently deleted from my sidebar. If you were on my sidebar and now you arent, do not take it personally....I will work on restoring the "I heart these blogs" section back to its original state ASAP (I might need a reminder if your blog isnt on the sidebar ;-).

*****Warning****This post is somewhat a stream of consciousness type post. Spelling and grammar have not been checked. Hopefully, a more lighthearted post will follow tomorrow assuming I have time and my attitude toward life is less stinky. Read at your own risk.

Today has been overwhelming. Nothing has gone the way I thought it would or should. Nothing has been convenient for me today. Nothing. If I told you all that has gone wrong, you would probably feel a measure of sympathy for me--maybe. Today was 'one of those days' and since around lunchtime, I have been frustrated beyond words--felt sorry for myself. I won't bore you with all the details, but let me just say that the BEST part of the day was when a delivery truck visiting the place next door ran into our utility pole and knocked out our cable/internet and telephone reception. I spent the whole afternoon trying to get service restored (which is much like banging one's head up against a brick wall or peeing into the wind). Cable is back in service, but telephone? Yeah, not so much. And that was the least irritating of the minor catastrophes.

I guess because my outlook on life is usually pretty good, days like today (when my outlook is stinking rotten) really bother me. I am not good at feeling defeated. Funny thing is that so many times today, I have said, "Lord, why me?". Oh, I haven't been diagnosed with some fatal illness and my kids are healthy - my troubles today have not been life altering, but they have been annoying and a huge a test of my patience.

I have thrown several pity parties today -- as with most of my pity parties, I was the only one in attendance --- well, me and satan. All pity parties are thrown in honor of satan whether we like to admit it or not. When self-pity takes over, so does the enemy. Remember how satan used my fear to keep me from worship on Sunday morning? Well, he used my frustration to take my eyes off Jesus and place them on my ugly circumstances today. Don't misunderstand me, I did not lose my temper today at all, but I did lose sight of Jesus---and I gave up some of my joy as an offering to the deceiver. I was almost in tears tonight because I felt so helpless and hopeless--- I rarely get to that point!!!

This evening during the pity party, the "Lord, why me's?" turned into "Lord, why not me's?". Do you know the 'Why not me's' of which I speak? They are the thoughts that say "Lord, why is she getting to serve you in such a huge way?" or "Lord, why is this sinful person so all-fired happy and successful?" OR "Lord, why does her life seem so easy and perfect?" or "Lord, why isn't it me who is making a big difference in Your Kingdom?"..........(insert your own "Lord, why not me? here). See, that's how satan works. He loves it when our minds wander and our hearts long for more (of anything besides Jesus). He sees your weaknesses and he plays on them --- then he twists and molds those weaknesses in our minds so that we see our problems as being bigger than our God.

I guess half the battle is knowing how the enemy works --- the other half is remembering that God wins.........no matter what happens, God is mightier than satan.......in EVERY circumstance.......time for bedtime prayers - What's on my prayer list? A new attitude, for satan to get behind me, getting rid of the "why me's?", getting rid of the "why NOT me's", and miraculous restoration of phone service...............

Monday, September 29, 2008

Not in This House, satan!!!!

So, you guys remember that last week my microwave went up in burning flames, right? And I am sure you have heard the saying (or the rock song), "You don't know what you got 'til it's gone". True, so true. Sniff. You just don't realize how much you actually depend on a microwave until it is rendered completely useless by a blazing fire (that continues to make your kitchen stink to high heaven and our home smell like the Marlboro man lives here). How does one make popcorn or microwave meals without an actual microwave? Anyway, since the "Great Microwave Debacle of 2008", I have been somewhat paranoid of another fire occurring in our home. Don't know why, but apparently seeing the huge flames coming from my microwave has caused permanent and major trauma to my psyche (ie. that microwave fire really freaked me out).

Yesterday, on the way to church, I had a sinking feeling that I did not hit the 'off' button on my flat iron before I left (for my 3 men readers - that is a contraption that makes my frizzy hair not so frizzy anymore). We were almost to church when it occurred to me, so I didn't mention it to the hubs, because my flat iron has a handy dandy automatic shut-off that turns the iron off after 60 minutes......and that makes it safe, right? Maybe. During church I could not get my mind of the possibility of my house burning down while I was sitting in that pew. I actually got kind of nervous and anxious. When a person is nervous and anxious, she/he cannot truly worship or concentrate on what God is saying. The devil knows that, which is why he loved the fact that I was focusing my attention toward worry rather than focusing on Jesus.

John 10:10 tells us "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full". Satan used fear (and a microwave fire) to steal my worship, kill my concentration, and destroy my peace yesterday. I allowed him to do it. He knows our weaknesses and you better bet that he will pounce on them. This is not the first time something like this has happened......At other times, I have allowed him to steal my joy, my confidence, my humility.................my witness. Sadly, I gave him free reign over my mind yesterday morning instead of giving Jesus freedom to rule and reign where He already resides. It is like I asked satan to come into Jesus' house and rule for the morning --- and of course he did so with great pleasure. The devil is a weasel like that - he loves to worm his way into your weak spots so that he can use fear to control your actions. He is the master of manipulation and all too often we are his best helper.

I wonder if there is some area of your life that you have allowed satan to come in and takeover. Is there some place in your life or your heart that you have let the devil de-throne Jesus and crown himself king ? It's an easy thing to do, but thankfully, it is also easy to undo, because while satan is the master of deceit, Jesus is the Master of forgiveness. It's time to show satan who is the ruler of your spiritual house.

Tonight, we are going with our church to see Fireproof....kind of ironic, huh?

Friday, September 26, 2008

Bully Thugs and a Meme

So, I feel compelled to tell you about something that happened to me yesterday. Remember I told you that my Bible Study last week was about Patience? And remember I told you that satan must have known about it because he made sure my patience was tested every day in every possible way??? Yeah, well this week is about kindness/goodness. After last week, when I looked ahead at the subject matter, my first thought was 'this could get ugly'. And so it did.

I spent most of yesterday working at the new house loading trash and scraps of lumber to be hauled off (seriously, we could build a house with the waste leftover from this one!! What up wit dat?). Fortunately, I had to quit at 2:15 to go pick Lake up from school - saved by the bell literally. After picking Lake up, I headed to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things and to give big oil execs every dime I had get gas. I paid for my items and pointed my gas-guzzler toward the pumps. I pulled into pump #6 then waited for about 10 minutes until I finally realized that the person in the car in front of me was not coming back. So, I back up and pull behind the car at pump #4 . When I put my car in park to wait for the woman to finish pumping her gas, I noticed a car full of high school age thugs boys turning their car around to get into the same line as me (only they were in facing the front of her car and I was in line behind).

I noticed that they did not look like upstanding young men (there were cigarettes, tattoos, and just a general look of not niceness about them - I bet they have not been to Sunday School in years). So, when the lady in front of me moved out, I pulled up because I was next in line. The problem was that so did the punks boys in the other car - their beat up and dented Cavalier was heading right for the front of my car. I had to make a command decision - stop and give up my rightful place in the gas line OR keep going and stand up to the bullies. Well, not being one to back down (and it HAS gotten me into more than a little trouble at times) I kept going all the while hoping my airbag would not deploy when we hit (those airbags can cause you to have black eyes or worse -who needs that kind of trauma? Paying $100 for a tank of gas is trauma enough for anyone!)

When I finally came to a stop, I realized the boys had backed up, but the confrontation was far from over because driver boy was getting out and quickly stomping toward me . He was yelling every curse word, throwing his hands around like a nut, and calling me every name in the book (where are the real men who are willing to defend a lady when something like this happens -- I assume the real men must buy their gas elsewhere because there were none around while this boy threatened to kill me and everyone around watched). While he is railing at me, I continue to pump my gas and I politely tell him that I was there first. He got in my face and told me he was going to ram my ____ ____ ______car. The he said I will kill you _______. Lake was in the car listening to words he had never heard before (remember? 'fat', 'hate', 'stupid' and 'butt' are bad words at our house).

I have to admit that I was afraid that thug boy WOULD make good on his promise to ram my car with Lake in it - so there was more than a little anxiety on my part. But, he made me mad, and I threw my Bible study notes out the window --- I looked him in the eye and I said, "Are you threatening me? Are YOU THREATENING ME?????? I certainly hope you ARE threatening me, because I am calling the police" (as many of you know I have a THP Lieutenant on voice command speed dial ;-). I proceeded to get my cell phone out and the blowhard bully coward boy left (all the while yelling "I will get you ____"). Sure hope I don't meet up with him again, because I think he really would like to hurt me.

I was relaying the message to hubs when I got home and it occurred to me that I made a huge mistake (I mean a mistake other than replying to him with goodness and kindness). If I had it to do over again, when he came toward me cursing, I would have opened my eyes as wide as saucers, rushed toward him and said "I rebuke you satan, in the name of JESUS" --- I think that might have stumped him......maybe next time.

So Heidi has tagged me for a meme where I have to tell 6 random things about myself........Which isn't easy since I have told ya'll everything about me here , here, and here not to mention the complete randomness that is a day in the life of this blog, but I will try to come up with some new material....here goes:

#1. One time I paid $80 to have a lady wrap my whole body in wet rags that were supposed to make you lose inches in an hour. I went there in good faith that I would come out skinny, but I only came out wet and poor. The funny part is that after she got all the miracle rags pinned on my body, she told my I had to keep moving the whole hour or it wouldn't work. She turned on a TV and told me to keep moving. I stood in that room in front of a TV flailing my arms and legs around for an hour. I expected Alan Funt to come out and announce that I was on Candid Camera, but he never came -- a television appearance would have made the experience worthwhile, unfortunately, no Alan and no weight loss - and I was extremely tired from all the movement while being laden with heavy wet cloths.........yeah, fun times.

#2. When I visited the Statue of Liberty, I was coming down the steps from the very top of the torch and the very large man in front of me got stuck. His hips were too wide for the small staircase - I will never understand how he got up there in the first place! Anyway, I started getting claustrophobic because the people behind me were freaking out, so after about 30 minutes of being trapped behind him, I asked if he could sit down and let me climb over him...........he did and I am sure he finally made it out --- we would have heard about him on the news if he didn't. He was a very nice man - you get to know people when you are in a crisis together.

#3. When I was little and people would ask what I wanted to be when I grow up, I would always say "Cocktail Waitress".

#4. I never take a bath. I always take a shower. There is something kind of gross to me about soaking in a tub of my own filth. I prefer to stand and have my body dirt go directly down the drain rather than laying in a pool of it.......and for those of you who were wondering....No, I would never get into a public hot tub (float in a pool of other people's sweat - are you kidding me?) and I actually do have a slight problem with public pools. If I don't like to swim in my own filth, you can only imagine how much I despise swimming in the filth/possible disease of others.

#5. Yesterday I had to use the "Jobsite Johnny" that we have at our new house......or as I like to call it, "The $80 per Month Outhouse". I have a fear of Porta-Johns. I am always afraid of a snake being down in the bottom. I only use them when it is a complete necessity. So, yesterday, after drinking a large sweet tea from Pal's, I walked into it, opened the lid, held my breath - (see next random thing for explanation) and looked into the dark hole. I would rather die than sit on the seat of a portable/public toilet, so I tried to stand up and do what needed to be done. Sadly, a minute and a half later, as I walked out of that scary lavatory, I noticed that my socks were wet. The moral of this story? Go ahead and sit on the seat of a porta potty or you will end up peeing in your own socks..............hey!! the meme asks for random things about yourself -- it doesn't get any more random (or real) than that!!!! I should at least get some points for honesty.

#6. When I smell something bad I hold my nose and blow air out my mouth for fear that the bad smell will enter my body through one orifice or another. I have done it since I was little and cannot seem to stop this odd behavior even in my old age.........speaking of old age, one of the young guys (he's 22) that is working on our house paid me a compliment the other day (kinda). I met he and his girlfriend while I was working at our car wash and a few days later he told me that his girlfriend said that she hoped she looks as good as me when she is up in her thirties........(ie. She thinks I look good for an elderly woman) .....My husband is 42 and I am 35, so I always joke with him about being old.....when he heard what she said, I thought he would fall over laughing ----- and he will not let me live it down -- EVER!

Okay, I'm off to work on being Good and Kind!!! Hopefully I will be a quick learner on this one - I can't take many more "life lessons" like I have had lately ;-)~

Okay Heidi, are you happy, you have made me scrape the bottom of the barrel to come up with 6 random things about myself and now I have completely embarrassed myself and ruined my good/kind reputation in the blogging community.....if my readership declines, it will be all your fault!!! hhahahahahaa

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Lunch, Fire, Gas, Etc.

***UPDATED - We ran in to my sister at Cheddar's where we were eating today and had her take a couple of pictures - Cassie is really not that short (well, actually we both are short) - I had some "elevated shoes" on. We had a fun time catching up and talking about our families and such -- hope we can do it again! (Next time we really should color coordinate our outfits though, cause we clash terribly in these pictures).

Today I am going to lunch with my fellow blogger and friend Cassie. She and I went to high school together (I went to middle school and high school with her husband). I remember in high school (yes, I can remember back that far, yet I have a hard time remembering what happened yesterday) all James ever talked about was Cassie. He told everyone that she was the most beautiful girl in the whole world and that he was going to marry her someday. She is beautiful and he did marry her. Go check out her blog and see their beautiful family. Cassie is also a part-time photographer. She takes great pictures and has a website for her photography business - check it out too.

When we made our plans to have lunch, Cassie said that we need to bring our cameras and take pictures to post on our blogs. If it were anyone else, I would be excited about that, but the problem is that Cassie has one of those fancy cameras with all the bells, whistles and long things sticking out of it. I, on the other hand, still have the Easy Share (aka. photography for Dummies). We'll see how it goes, I might take the old Kodak and give her fancy Nikon a run for its money (or I might just keep it in my purse out of embarrassment ;-). Either way, I hope I will have some pictures to post later this evening.

Speaking of Dummies, I almost burned our house down on Monday night. The hubs was refereeing a ballgame and I was home with the kids (that, by the way, is the story of our lives from August to November). It was almost 9 pm so I knew he would be home soon, so I figured I better go ahead and fix his dinner. I had made steak, salad, and baked potatoes for lunch on Sunday, so he was going to have the leftovers. I placed the baked potato in plastic wrap and put it on a "Microwave Safe" plate (yeah right) and punched the handy dandy button that says "Baked Potato" --- doesn't take a rocket scientist to do that, right? Wrong. I had promised the boys I would watch the Nickelodeon hit show "My Family Has Guts" with them (don't really know if it is a 'hit show', but I thought I would add that part for emphasis and importance), so I left the potato burning to a crisp baking and went into the den to sit with them for a few minutes.

When hubs came to the door about 4 minutes later, I heard the smoke alarm going off. I would love to say it is very unusual for him to come home and hear the smoke alarm, but the truth is that it happens quite often at our house (what am I Sara Lee?). Anyway, this time there was black smoke (that IS unusual - well kinda) and huge blue flames coming out of our microwave. I just stood there and screamed while hubs (the quick thinker of the family) doused the flames with water. After the fire was out, the smoke detector continued to go off for about 20 minutes. At first, our house smelled like a combination of hot ashes and burnt popcorn, but, now it simply smells like a chain smoker lives here and apparently no amount of Lysol or Oust can change that. The microwave is a Kenmore product, so I called Sears to see if there is a recall (ie. can you please give us a new microwave because the one you sold us is whack?). Apparently, since it is almost 9 years old, there is nothing they can do.........there goes $300+ out the window and until I get a new one, I will cooking like the pioneer women of old (well on the actual stove and in the actual oven - ugh) - Double Dern! This event will go down in family history as "The Great Potato Debacle of 2008" or "The Night the Lights Went Out in the Microwave".

Did I mention that my Bible study this week is on "Patience"???? Yeah, well satan must have heard what I was studying because he has tried to test me like Job this week in EVERY area of my life (including the area of microwave cooking). And, sadly, I have to admit that there have been times he has gotten the best of me and sent my patience out the window (and ya'll, I didn't have much patience to start with). Have you ever noticed that when satan seeks to tear you down, he enlists other people to help him? Yeah, the microwave ain't the only thing I have lost my patience with this week. I figured since I was confessing, I might as well give you the whole ugly truth (don't want to add being a liar to my list of sins this week - the list is long enough already).

Did you know that Wal-Mart does price matching? For instance, if I see cantaloupes at another grocery store for a $1, then I can go to my friendly Wal-Mart cashier and tell her then she will give me that same price. All I have to do is say "I read that Food City has cantaloupes for a dollar" and poof! that is what I pay for them at Wal Mart too. I was wondering if I went to the Wal-Mart gas pump and said, "I read that Iraq has gas for 39 cents a gallon", do you think they would give me that price as well? Just a thought.

For you parents, I strongly suggest that you DO NOT play soccer with your man child while wearing flip flops. Just thought I would throw that out there. Consider it a Public Service Announcement brought to you by mom's with band-aids on their toes.

Lindsay Lohan and Clay Aiken both say they are gay --- sadly I am not surprised by either. I predict she will head back into the closet and turn from her choice of gayness in a couple of years. (Kaden calls her Windsay Wohan - he saw her on Herbie Fully Loaded). Have you guys heard that song on Christian radio named "Britney"? I like it. Maybe we should write to Bebo Norman and see if he has a song named "Lindsay" in the works.

Today was See You At The Pole Day, where students all over the country meet at their school's flag pole to pray. I was glad to see at least a third of the students and many parents from Lake's school at their flag pole this morning. The Bible tells us in Samuel how God chose to speak to a boy instead of the priest. We know that Jesus used a boy's lunch to feed thousands. 1 Timothy 4:12 tells us not to look down on those who are young, but to encourage them.......The Bible is full of references to children, yet we downplay their role in the Kingdom. God has a special place in His heart for kids. We get so caught up in our own lives and ministries that we sometimes forget that kids have a ministry too and it's our job to help them grow in their ministry. Lake's kindergarten teacher always says that kids learn best from other kids. If that is true, then who better to tell a child about Jesus than another child.....peer pressure is not always bad.

Last night, Steve and I saw a man on TV who looked just like a kid off the cartoon Fat Albert. Do you all remember him? Do you remember this song----" You'll have a good time with me and all the gang, learnin' from each other why we do our thang.....Lalala gonna have a good time ---HeyHeyHey". I wonder why you never see that in reruns? That was a fun show - guess it isnt too politically correct to have a show with the word "Fat" in the title. We dont even allow our kids to say the word 'Fat' because I am afraid that they will see an overweight person (maybe me) and say the f-word out loud. My kids know 'fat' as a 'bad word'.......we are gonna keep it like that for as long as possible.

I suppose that is enough random boredom for you for one day......I might update with some pictures later --I might even get Cassie to take a new profile picture of me so I can get rid of that joke on the top left hand side of my sidebar----I know you will be waiting on the edge of your seat for that to happen.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Not So Short But Sweet (Real Sweet)

So, this past Friday and Saturday, the hubs and I worked at our new house from what we in the South call "from can to can't" (only it sounds more like 'cain to cain't' when we say it). While hubs spent most of the day on the tractor (yes, we have a tractor - it is TN, what did you expect?), yours truly spent my time loading 2x4's, blocks (cinder, not lego), rocks (think Gibraltar), raking gravel and spreading mulch. Does anything sound amiss to you? Yeah, he got the sweet end of the deal. I have to say that my lower back protests every time I stand up or sit down and is in definite need of a trip to the chiropractor. Needless to say, I am walking with a little hitch in my 'git along'. A girl shouldn't lift 80 lb bags of mulch (18 bags to be exact) all by herself even if she IS trying to make hay while the sun shines. We did make a lot of progress even though I might be crippled for life. Sometimes ya gotta take it in the chin (back) for the greater good of the family (IE. we did all this stuff to keep from having to pay someone else to do it - we're cheap like that, but hard workers nonetheless).

The weather in East TN this weekend has been absolutely beautiful (the football? not so pretty, but that is another post entirely). Even with all the hard, back-breaking work we did, we were not miserably hot, because there was a constant breeze and the Lord saw fit to clear away the humidity. Saturday evening, while I was waiting on hubs to put his tractor away and lock the house up, I sat in the garage and prayed over the house. Probably not the prayers you would expect, but I prayed for everything concerning that house. One thing I said during the prayer was "God, let everything we do in this house or associated with this house bring you glory". When I said that, it was as if God turned on a light for me. It was as if He highlighted those words for me and I kept saying "Bring You Glory" over and over again and each time I said it, I had a new understanding of what they meant. I have asked many, many times for my actions or words to bring Him glory, but this time He really made it clear to me that bringing Him glory is my one true calling.

As I prayed there in that garage, an old idea became a new realization. When I do everything to bring Him glory, the pressure is lifted from me. If I am living, breathing, acting, doing, speaking, and loving for God's glory, then every heavy load I carry is placed on His shoulders (and they are the only shoulders that can bear up under all the weight). When I live for His glory, the focus is placed on Him -- I have done my part and the rest is up to Him. My goal in everything I do should be to place Him in the spotlight. Oh, I may fail by the world's standards, but my purpose in Him is to bring Him glory. Even in the small, everyday, mundane things of life, my calling is to bring Him glory....it's the purest purpose of every Christ-follower.....His glory.

Some of you are reading this and thinking, is she just figuring this out? Maybe. It is something that I have known in my head for years, but I think I might have really gotten it this time...sitting in an unfinished garage of all places. It is one thing to know something in your head, and a completely different thing to know it in your heart. Some things are learned with our human understanding and some things are simply God-taught. This is a God-teaching moment for me.

The phrase "for His glory" keeps running through my mind and I keep saying it and praying it over and over. Have I failed at bringing Him glory before? Yes. Will I fail at it in the future? Yes, but at least now I have a firm grasp on the concept and hopefully, I have reminded you today of what you already knew.....your purpose in everything you do or say is to bring Him glory. Take a few minutes and say to the Lord, "For Your glory" over and over and see if it impacts your day today......I bet it will ;-).

1 Chronicles 16:29
Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name. Bring an offering and come before him; worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Fairies and Slave Labor

I am so off schedule this week. Not only am I off schedule, but I am off kilter as well. So much going on right now I never know whether I am coming or going. Some days I feel like I am on a roller coaster and I just can't get off-- I am sure that I am not the only one who feels that way. Bible study last week was all about peace - might need to go back and re-do that one this week.

This week's study is about patience. Needless to say I fear this lesson more than any other. Have I mentioned I am running low on patience? Well, the truth is I have never had much in the way of patience. We'll see how this coming week goes. I'm guessing it will be a trying one.

So yesterday, I read a headline that said "Lindsay Lohan Rips Sarah Palin". Ummm, first of all, I was kind of shocked that Lindsay Lohan even knew it was an election year, but whatever. You can read her rant here. She says (and I am paraphrasing here) that Palin is a narrow-minded homophobe who will set the women's lib movement into rewind mode (well, wouldn't that be a shame?). Lohan goes on to make fun of the fact that Palin's church promotes a conference that helps people come out of the darkness of homosexuality. Lindsay Lohan is deluded and just another reason why I am delighted to vote for McCain/Palin.

Last night on Fox, I watched clips of both Obama and McCain on "The View". Now if you have read this blog for any length of time, you know that I would rather have hemorrhoid surgery as watch one episode of The View. The View ranks right up there with Jerry Springer in my opinion - trash TV at its worst. Here is a clip of John McCain on the "the View" and here is a clip of Obama on The View......If that doesn't show media bias, then nothing does! Obama picked up $9 million from Hollywood hot shots this week which is another reason I am delighted to cast my vote for John McCain --- he is not backed or puppeted by Hollyweird.

Tomorrow and Saturday, I will be slaving in the hot sun placing mulch around our new house. Is there a such thing as a "mulch fairy"? If you know of one, would you please tell me how to get in touch with him/her/it ?

On a similar note, if you know the "House Cleaning Fairy", the "House Building Fairy", or the "Weight Loss Fairy" I would appreciate your putting in a good word for me with them as well.

Our fundraiser is over. We are out $79, but I am sure it will all be worth it when we receive our cheap jewelry and cookie dough. By the way, Daddy, you owe me $9 for some candy we bought in your name honor. Don't think of it as being out $9, think of it as a $9 donation to your grandchild's happiness. And really, you came out better than the rest of the family --- Lisa spent $32 and Mom spent $20 and I won't even tell you what Mammaw spent (let's just say we will be eating cookies at her house for years)---- so you got a bargain and some chocolate turtles too (if they are still here by the time you come back to visit ;-).

While I am typing this, Kaden is in the living room playing in the floor with some cars and little toy men. I just heard him say (as if one of the toy men were talking to another), "Can you believe he can run like that after all these years?". Then, he says (again one toy man to another) "You can hardly walk - you need a Hover Round" . Then a few seconds later, he said "After these messages we'll be right back."..........wonder if I should limit his TV watching?

This morning when I took Lake to school, the temperature outside was 57 degrees. We haven't seen 57 degrees since May! Usually I am so excited about fall, I start putting out pumpkins in early September. Fall is my favorite time of year. This year; however, a little bit of my fall joy has been stolen by the fact that my house is a wreck in anticipation of our move to the new house (which my husband assures me will be sometime before Christmas .......2009!!!!). I just cannot get excited about seeing my fall decorations sitting beside roofing and hardwood floor samples -- call me crazy.

Have I told you about my love for candy corn pumpkins (aka "Mellowcreme Pumkins)? I heart them so much I could eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner...........they are fat free ya know. And anything that is fat free will not make you fat. Even if you are already fat. I know it's true. I just know it.

In case you were wondering, I am still sick of blogs that paint a perfect picture of perfect families with perfect lives that never have any trouble and everything is sunshine and roses everyday of their lives. To those people I say, "You are not fooling anyone. We know you use your blog to perpetuate a lie about your life. We all know that your kids do not obey you. We know that your husband gets on your last nerve. We know that is a picture of you before you had kids. Get over yourself!". Sorry, I just had to throw that out there.

Have I mentioned that my husband thinks I am as strong as any man? He has no doubt in my ability to lift objects that are way too heavy for any woman to lift. Now, I will admit I am FREAKISHLY strong, much stronger than I look, actually, but I have my limits. This week alone, I have lifted a solid cherry door, bathroom vanities, heavy wooden chairs, and trashcans filled to overflowing with wood scraps. What am I, Chuck Norris?

Did I tell you that I truly have a memory problem? I cannot remember ANYTHING!!!! Just this morning, I spent 20 minutes on hold with the company where we order our checks inquiring about why we had not yet received the checks I ordered a month ago only to find out that we received those checks a week and a half ago. If anyone is familiar with the "Memory Fairy".........

Time for me to go and play with the munchkin....After these messages, I'll be right back.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Refrigerators and Church Pews

First I would like to apologize for the lame-o thing that was yesterday's post. Sometimes a girl is just too busy to blog properly so she posts excuses and Youtube videos instead. Such is life.

I just got back from the Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, aside from buying 2 liter Pepsi products for $1 apiece, my trip was uneventful. When I got home, I decided that it was necessary to clean out my fridge before putting up my cold items (translate: there was too much moldy old junk in my fridge and I couldn't fit the new stuff in without cleaning it out). I hate to clean out my refrigerator. Seriously, I have not cleaned my fridge out in AGES. How long has it been, you ask? When I last cleaned out my refrigerator gas was $1.99 per gallon, milk cost $1.50 per gallon and Michael Jackson was black! That is a long time.

While I was throwing away unrecognizable food items that could make penicillin to treat thousands of people, I was thinking.........I bought that food when it was fresh. I kept in a cool place, but it still went bad. It was healthy and nourishing in the beginning, but the longer it stayed on that same church pew refrigerator shelf, it became first stale, then it became moldy, and eventually it became completely rotten. It became so rotten, I could not even recognize what it originally looked like. Do you smell what I am cookin' here? I hope you do even what I'm cookin' really stinks.

We can be at church every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday, we can be involved in every church activity there is, but that does not mean we remain fresh in our relationship with Jesus. Just being in the church does not make us Holy. I do believe that EVERY believer should be a part of a local church (remember the part of the Bible that says "not to forsake the fellowship of believers"?, yeah, well I believe that God meant that part too), but being involved and present does not make us holy and consecrated. Involved Christians are not immune to becoming stale in our worship and spiritual life in general. Going to church is the good and right thing to do, but if you are not growing, then you are simply wasting your time.

Have you ever known someone who knew all the right "Sunday School" talk, but was obviously empty spiritually? Some people who are at church every time the doors are open are spiritually bankrupt - they become so concerned with "serving to be seen" they forget their purpose in coming to church is not to glorify themselves, but to grow in the Lord and glorify Him. They serve outside their gifts in an effort to have their hand in every ministry, but they are spread too thin to really do a good job in any ministry. There is nothing more stinky and rotten than a Christian who takes the focus off Jesus and places it on her/himself. Serving is all well and good, but when it comes at the price of losing your focus on God, then it is useless and all in vain.Oh sure they can talk the talk, but when the hard times come, talk is cheap.

Or how about the person who goes to church consistently, but has absolutely NO joy in their life? The person that sits in the pew every Sunday with one eye on their watch and one closed in sleep. These are the people that want to be involved in all financial meetings at the church so that they can know where their money is going. They think the preacher preaches too long, they do not see why we need Sunday School, they do not see a need for children's programs, and they have no idea why anyone would want to go to the mission field. We all know people like this and they are living proof that simply attending church does not keep us fresh in our spiritual walk. Our pews are filled with stinking rotten, moldy Christians who are in the right environment, but have become stale nonetheless.

I think this is a good reminder for all of us - especially me (too bad I had to clean out my fridge to think of it).

Thanks, Fran for the tip help!!!

Monday, September 15, 2008


While you are reading this, I am performing slave labor at our new house. Here is something to make you laugh - if you have seen this, please disregard.


Thursday, September 11, 2008


It's Friday, and as you know, I normally post on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, so in the interest of staying on schedule, here are a few things that I feel need to be brought out of my mind and onto the internet for the world to see (well, for all three of my readers to see).........My randomness has been known to cause even the most desperate of insomniacs to fall asleep, so read at your own risk.

*As many of you are aware, I have recently joined the ranks of those who spend countless hours stalking people I 'used to know' on Facebook. I have been noticing that every time I am on Facebook there are ads on the side of my screen requesting that I purchase weight loss products. As a matter of fact, if I see "Acai berry" written on my screen one more time, I might actually give in and purchase some for my very own. Do you really think I could lose 15 lbs in 15 days? (I mean without having to be hospitalized)? Cause I'm totally open to that (the losing not the hospitalizing).

*So, I mentioned in this post that my husband referees high school football. It never ceases to amaze me how grown adults turn into complete idiots over a high school ballgame. The referee can never please everyone - if a call goes one way, the other team is mad and vice verse. As you can imagine, over the years that we have been married I have heard people call my husband everything in the book. People have suggested that he needs to wear glasses, they have suggested that he is in love with one of the coaches, he has been called a zebra countless times, and some people have even questioned whether his mom and dad are actually married (you'll get it in a minute). You get my point, I have heard it all. Or so I thought until last Friday night.

*At the ballgame last Friday there were two grown men sitting behind me who apparently were not happy with the calls my husband and his crew were making (these men were pulling for the losing team). One of them actually stood up and yelled in his loudest redneck voice "Whatsa matter Ref, you forget to take your Metamucil"? And a few minutes later, the other one said "Hey Ref, you didn't take your Viagra today did ya"? Okay, we can all see the obvious stupidity in both of those comments and their irrelevance to a ballgame. But really, should people be mentioning Laxatives and Viagra in public? I mean it's one thing to question a man's regularity, but Viagra????............Besides, does constipation really blur one's vision? I think not. Ya gotta love rednecks. (For those of you who live here, all I can say is beware of the Patriot fans).

*I have recently realized I am now at the age my parents were when I thought they were old.

*Call me crazy, but when a person pays their taxes, both city AND county, I believe that they have done their duty in donating to the public school system. Apparently no one cares what I believe, because yet again, my son's school is asking that we peddle cookies, candy, and for an added touch this year -- cheap jewelry.

The scam that IS school fundraisers works like this: The school sends home catalogs filled with stuff no one wants or needs, they tell our kids that if they don't sell a certain amount of said stuff that they will not be allowed to come to a cheesy program put on by the fundraiser company, thus pressuring my 7 year old to sell this stuff to 'fit in'. They also mention to these small children the possibility of winning great prizes such as a Wii or something equally as cool, but what they don't mention is that the child must sell 7,986 items in order to win the Wii.

Since my husband and I hate to ask people to purchase fundraiser items (other than grand parents and aunts - we do not hesitate to pressure family members into large purchases), we usually find the cheapest things in the catalogs and buy several in order to obtain the # of items it takes to go to the cheesy program so our son will not be a social outcast. I wish the school would just send home a letter that says it is mandatory that we send a $100 check - --- it would be better than begging people to buy cookie dough.

*Is anyone else sick of seeing Geraldine Ferraro on every news channel talking about the plight of women and her failed run for VP? Why do women's lib people have such a chip on their shoulder? Have I told you how much I love that Sarah Palin? Yeah, she rocks.

*Yesterday on the way to school, I was telling my boys about September 11th and what happened on that day. It seems like it was last week instead of seven years ago. I was thinking how history has changed so much since Lake was born 7 years ago. His history books will look nothing like the ones I read. Since he was born in June of 2001, we have seen Americans killed on 9-11, earthquakes and a tsunami that took thousands of lives, a war against terrorists, a black man finally running for president, a mom of 5 running for vice president....and those are just a few major things. It is amazing the changes that the past 7 years have brought - makes me wonder about the next 7 years --- I wonder if we will even be here on earth in 7 years...........

*Is macaroni and cheese considered a meal? And is 'corn dog' a food group? Just askin'......

*For those of you who have flat stove tops, I would highly suggest that you ASSUME the stove top is hot --- sometimes those things can fool the untrained cook even after 9 years of owning one. Just wanted to throw that out there as kind of a public service announcement.

I am on my way to take Lake to school and then go to the Wal-Mart - gas will be going up today because of Ike, so like everyone else and their mother, I will be standing in line at the pumps. I am sure that I will see something, hear something or my kid will do something strange while I am there (it always looks like they are filming a remake of "Deliverance" at our WalMart) so I might add to this boring post if need be. If I don't --- ya'll have a good weekend.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The Joy of Power Rangers

So, yesterday, hubs tells me I need to go to Food City (a local chain of grocery stores) because they have some great "buy one get one free" deals. At first, I thought he was channeling his 98 yr old grandmother, because she totally does that (only she send us to make her purchases at various stores on various sale days). After I realized he was serious, he told me that Food City had ice cream on the BOGO (buy 1 - get 1 --don't you people watch Payless ads?). Anyone who knows the hubs knows that he is an ice cream connoisseur, so I threw Kaden in the car and off we went to do the east TN version of Supermarket Sweep (because we are geeks like that).

While scanning the aisles for food bargains we could never live without, we came upon the toy aisle. I would ask why in the world they put toys in grocery stores, but I know WHY they put toys in the grocery store -- so that young tired mothers will purchase said toys to keep their children from having have meltdowns in Aisle 6. Kaden didn't have a meltdown (he knows that will get him absolutely nowhere), but he did ask for a pack of 5 faux Power Rangers. We do not allow our kids to watch the Power Rangers show, but we do allow them to play with cheap imitation Power Ranger toys - go figure.

ANYHOO, Kaden asked nicely for the toys and since they were only a dollar, I told him we would buy them. The whole time we were in the store, all he could talk about was playing with his new toys. He couldn't wait to get them home so the playing could commence. When we got back to the house with our BOGO ice cream and $63.46 worth of other unhealthy and unnecessary foods, he would not leave me alone until I found those Power Ranger(ish) toys. Finally, I found the toys and opened them. He squealed with delight and ran off to the living room to do whatever it is boys do with Power Ranger figurines.

After about 15 minutes, he came back into the kitchen where I was creating a gourmet meal (hey, this is my story). He said, "Do we have any other new things to play with?" And before I gave him the raised eyebrow, evil eye, head bobbing speech about being grateful for what we have and how some kids don't even have one toy much less thousands like he does, I stopped and realized he is simply doing what he sees his mother do........

See, like Kaden, I get excited over something for a short time and then look for something better - something more exciting to bring me some joy. So many times I find my "happiness" in buying something new or going somewhere different or in someone.........It seems that my joy has a short attention span at times. Instead of finding my joy in Jesus, I look to the world for what only He can give. Often times we think that our joy is determined by our circumstances or our stuff, or our bank account or our weight or what others think of us. But a Christian's joy is not determined by anything other than our salvation or by anyone other than Jesus Christ.

Like Kaden, the things we think will make us happy, only pacify us for a short time until we begin to long for something better - at which time we say "God, do you have any more new toys we could play with?" Or even worse, "World, do you have any new toys we could play with "? In my notes this week (sorry if you are in my class, you will be hearing this again tonight), I put "I am guilty of looking for the magnificent and overlooking the mundane....I look for the miracle of parted waters while overlooking the miracle of the sun rising every morning".

Not coincidentally, my Bible study this week is all about "JOY".

So, now I'm off to go memorize Luke 10: 20 "However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven."


Psalm 16:11 "You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

Anyone care to join me????

Friday, September 5, 2008

Where Have I Been??!!!

I cannot believe that I have not posted anything here since last Tuesday! What is wrong with me??? My dad came to visit on Wednesday and I just didn't take the time to blog (that and he is a computer hog ;-). Hopefully I will be more on top of things in blog world this week. I guess since I haven't blogged in almost a week, I should catch you up a little on what I have been up to......

So, Thursday night we went to see the Gaither Homecoming at Freedom Hall (which is a local arena about 5 minutes from our house). I have to say it was a really fun night (if you like Southern Gospel Music, if not, you would have had very little fun). It was neat seeing in person all those Gospel singers we usually only get to see on TV. I think part of the reason I like the Gaithers because they bring back memories of when I was little. I can hear "The King is Coming" and be immediately taken back to my childhood. I can remember laying in the back seat of my parents big green LTD listening to the Gaithers on an 8-track tape. Does that make me old? Yep, I think 8-track tapes and never having been placed in a child restraint device might just be what separates the old women from the girls. Maybe instead of asking people how old they are, we should just say "Did you ever listen to an 8-track tape or have you ever been properly restrained in a vehicle?".

Matter of fact, to this day, if I am riding in a car with my mother and she has to slam on the brakes, she never fails to throw her arm out in front of me --- as if to keep me from flying through the windshield. I guess it's a habit that started in my childhood when I stood in the seat beside her while she was driving. Yes, I was allowed to stand beside her in the car. Maybe it's just a Southern thing, but I don't think I even knew what a seat belt was until around 1980. It was around that time that there was a national campaign to raise awareness of the dangers of not wearing your seat belt (oh and they made it a law that you HAD to wear your seat belt - the threat of a ticket changes your perspective sometimes - at least it did with my parents). Now, of course, we wouldn't dare put our cars into 'drive' without buckling up and we definitely wouldn't allow our kids to be unrestrained. Funny how things change over time, huh?

Anyway, The Hoppers were there Thursday night and they sang this , which you may remember as one of my all time favorite southern gospel songs. I love all kinds of music; however, I listen mostly to contemporary (Casting Crowns, Toby Mac, etc), but there is just something I love about the old stuff too.

So, I have mentioned before that my husband referees high school football. Friday night, my dad and I met my sister and her kids for dinner and then we went to watch hubs' game. The two teams that played are huge rivals. The place was PACKED. We finally found a place to sit and the concrete seats were so hot it felt like I had fallen tail-first into a campfire. Anyway, during the 2nd quarter, Kaden said he was thirsty. I finally gave in and made my way to the concession stand - did I mention that I hate walking in front of people? Yeah, well I hate it even more when there are lots of people to walk in front of (you never know who might be making fun of you in a crowd- and yes, I know I need counseling). Anyway, we got our drinks, walked back to our seat and squeezed in among the thousands of people just in time for Kaden to projectile vomit all over me and himself (and unfortunately my dad). Thankfully, he missed the lady in front of him, but unfortunately he did not miss my purse or my pants. Sorry, Daddy, but there are just some things that cannot be helped and vomit is one of them.

-Cost to get into the ball game?: $5

-Cost to replace ruined purse?: $30

-Seeing the look of fear on people's faces around us as my child blew chunks right beside them? Priceless

The lady sitting in front of us at the game that night, was wearing a tank top and low rise jeans. So low, in fact, that I could see her thong AND at least 2 inches of hiney cleavage (we don't say the word "butt" at our house or I would have said "butt cleavage"). Allow me to make a heartfelt plea on behalf of people everywhere: If you are reading this and you wear pants that show your underwear on purpose, please stop this madness immediately. No one cares to see your hind parts. You backside is not as special as you might think - we all have one - we have all seen them. There are some things that should remain private and your thong clad bum is one of them. Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

Speaking of my dad, I need to give him a shout out for helping Lake and I with a school project this weekend. The kids in his class were given a choice of different buildings in a community to make a replica of. Those of you who know us in real life will understand why Lake chose to make a Police Station. My dad and I helped him and I think it turned out pretty well. What do you think?

In case you cant tell, that is a Gideon Bible on the top bunk in the jail......I thought that was a nice touch. Anyway, thank you, Daddy for all your help - you are the best paper desk/chair, sink and toilet maker I have ever known --- pretty good for someone who never made paper doll.

I saw this video of Sarah Palin on my friend Amanda's blog and I thought it was really neat.

So, I have done enough of those memes that ask "Favorite Movie" for some of you to know that my fav movies is Madagascar. Well, imagine my delight as I watched the trailer for Madagascar 2!!! We rarely go to the movies, but we may have to make an exception and give those Hollyweird people some of our hard-earned dough this November.

Speaking of movies, a friend of ours from church, invited us to a private (Chic-fil-A sponsored) movie screening of "Fireproof". I soooooo hope that hubs isn't working or calling a ballgame that night. That would be a crying shame!!!

So, I was wondering if there is a such thing as blogging as a job. Do you know anyone whose job is blogging? I was thinking that maybe I could justify all this blogging time if I were to actually get paid for it. So, if you run across any help wanted ads that say "Full-time bloggers needed" - let me know and I will definitely apply for the job.

Okay, I am off to do something productive.......

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Be Careful What You Ask For AND Some Kaden Funnies

Have you ever heard the phrase "Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it"? Yeah, well, I am learning the meaning of that phrase. Lately, I have been asking God for some very specific things. Some of which are very personal, others that I feel comfortable in sharing here for the world to see (well, for all 20 of my regular readers to see). One of the things I have been asking Him (actually beggin Him might be more appropriate) is to teach me HOW to TRULY walk in the Spirit. We hear that term a lot, but what does it really mean to completely surrender my will and bend EVERY area of my life to HIS will? Is it even possible for ME to surrender every thought, word, and action to the Holy Spirit's leading?
I hear people say that they are led by the Spirit, but let's be honest, how many of us can say that we do NOTHING, without a go-ahead from God. I hope you hear what I am saying, I am not talking about huge decisions or even attitudes or other things we NORMALLY take to the Lord, I am sure that most of us who are Christians pray earnestly over life changing decisions, our attitudes, and daily problems. What I am talking about is the everyday little things. I am talking about walking in the Spirit which means someone is so in tune with the Holy Spirit that they can sense His leadership in even the SMALLEST of things. Seems like a lofty goal, but because my greatest desire is to KNOW GOD and be used by Him, I am serious about developing a relationship like this with God.
If I am so busy walking in the flesh, I will never hear when God whispers in my ear "Go and show kindness to that lady" or "Ask that man if you can pray for him" or "That young girl needs to know ME, introduce her to ME". The flesh is a great sound barrier!!!! When we are walking according to what WE want to do and listening to our own loud voice, we tend to drown out the soft and tender voice of God.
So, getting back to being careful what you ask for.....God has honored my request....although not exactly how I would have liked. Isn't that usually the way it is....guess that's why the Bible tells us "His ways are much higher than ours". Over the past few weeks of sincerely seeking Him to help me in this area, He has allowed me to be in situations that require my Spirit-filled response. It seems as though every person I have spoken with on the phone has been ready for confrontation. Every store clerk I have come in contact with has been in a terrible mood. My son has had a bad attitude. I have had one opportunity after another to bite back, discourage, join a pity party, and be rude. I asked God to help me walk in the Spirit in EVERY AREA OF MY LIFE and you know what? He is granting my request by giving me plenty of practice. Ask and ye shall receive, right?
Ya'll, nothing I do in the flesh is pretty or pleasing. Nothing. It is in my very nature to walk in the flesh - if you are human it is in your nature too. But I am learning that when He takes away the flesh and replaces it with His Spirit, what was so ugly becomes something beautiful. Something HE can work with. Someone He can work through. And that, my friends, is exactly what I desire.

Now for some Kaden Funnies :

I usually do my Bible study outside while the kids are playing. Yesterday, Kaden was talking non-stop and so in an effort to quieten him down, I started reading him Bible verses. One of the verses in my study was 1 John 4:21, so I said,
"Hey Kaden, did you know that the Bible says 'Whoever loves God must also love his brother'"???
He stopped and looked at me with a very confused face and said "Who is God's brother anyway?"

This Sunday will be the first Sunday that Kaden has to come into the worship service with us. Our pastor believes that it is important for children to see their parents worshipping, hearing the Word, giving, and praying in church. Kaden has come into worship services before occasionally, but this time, it is for good. Every week. Me saying "Ssshhh!" and Steve raising his eyebrow as if to threaten bodily harm if any noise is made. So, today, I thought I would go ahead and warn Kaden (again) about the protocol of being a big boy who worships Jesus in "Big Church". Here is how our conversation went:

Me: Kaden, you know that this Sunday you will start coming into Big Church every week, Right?

Kaden: I know.

Me: You know what that means, right?

Kaden: (somewhat bored with the subject) I know, I know it means I sing when everybody sings, I pray when everybody prays, I listen when the preacher talks, I don't get to play, I don't get to talk, I don't get to have any fun, I don't get to do nothin'....right?.....

Me: Ummmm, ........well........

Sometimes a mom just doesn't know where to begin...........

Now I am off to semi- clean my house (stye) before my dad comes to visit for a few days..........