How Ya Like Me Now?

Okay, I have spent way too much time (like over an hour) searching Pyzam for a new blog template. They have thousands of these things. I have to confess that I have seen things that I should not have seen (who knew people would want naked women on their blog? YIKES!). I have seen templates for Dale Earnhart - definitely for those people who love a little NASCAR action. I bet some of my neighbors even use that one on their blog - you know I am from the great state of Tennessee, right? In TN, it is not unusual to hear people yelling the words "Go Dale" from their truck window (he is dead by the way, but the dream apparently lives on in his son who they lovingly refer to as "Junior"). Most of those trucks have a big rebel flag flying from the back too, but that is what we in the south call "a whole nother story".

There was also a cool University of Tennessee one that was really tempting, but I resisted - Go Vols! A Florida Gators one that didnt tempt me at all. There was one that had a condom on it. Yes, you read that right a full picture of a huge condom. I thought it was really pretty when I saw the little thumbnail. Then as I made the preview screen bigger I realized what I thought was a Dove chocoalte bar was actually a Trojan condom - omigosh! I just have one question---WHY? ............I saw 1/2 and whole naked women - I feel dirty just typing about it. Why would any self-respecting person want a "nekkid" girl on their blog? Again YIKES!

There was another one that had a huge cobra snake on it. Ya'll I have an unhealthy fear of snakes. You just do not know how scared of snakes I am. It all goes back to the garden--my grandfathers garden --- which had a few snakes in it when I was little and I never got over reaching down to pick a green bean and seeing nasty little eyes looking up at me. I might faint just typing about it! I would rather see a bear, a man with a knife, a plumber's crack, ......I would rather lick a public toilet than see a snake! Just to give you a little idea of how unrealistic my fear is......when I sit on the toilet, many times I think to myself "What if a snake came up in this toilet right now?" You have no idea how many times I have jumped up from the toilet ready to meet a copperhead. When I am running my kids bath water, I think to myself "What if a snake came out of this faucet right now?" Do ya smell what I'm cookin' here? I have a completely irrational fear of those nasty things. I dont even allow anyone in my house to say the word - they are to simply say "s". I know you all are thinking that I need counseling and I probably do(okay I defnintely need intense counseling), but that is really the only thing I am afraid of so, give a girl a break, will ya?.

ANYWAY, I know I sound will like my great, great grandmother when I say this, but some of those blog templates make my eyes go crossed (and I ain't talkin' about the nekkid ones either). I mean, when there is a moving background (or is it the text that moves? I do have a college education you guys - I even graduated summa cum laude - please dont think I am a total idiot - I am just sharing my heart here). There are just some blog templates that I just cannot focus on because there is too much going on. Call me crazy, but I just can't concentrate on what I am reading while there are little people dancing in the background.

So, anyway, those of you who still want to read my blog after finding out that I have seen naked women templates, that I live in Dale Earnhart country (although I am not a race fan or even close), and who now know that I am an irrational snakophobe (there is a word for that, but I didnt listen that day in psychology) please let me know if this is difficult for you to read. I cant promise I will have time to change it anytime soon, but I would like to know what you guys think.

By the way, this template is called Rusted Peacock - isnt that the stupidest thing you have ever heard? At least I didnt choose Dale (or the Trojan :-).