Thursday, September 18, 2008

Fairies and Slave Labor

I am so off schedule this week. Not only am I off schedule, but I am off kilter as well. So much going on right now I never know whether I am coming or going. Some days I feel like I am on a roller coaster and I just can't get off-- I am sure that I am not the only one who feels that way. Bible study last week was all about peace - might need to go back and re-do that one this week.

This week's study is about patience. Needless to say I fear this lesson more than any other. Have I mentioned I am running low on patience? Well, the truth is I have never had much in the way of patience. We'll see how this coming week goes. I'm guessing it will be a trying one.

So yesterday, I read a headline that said "Lindsay Lohan Rips Sarah Palin". Ummm, first of all, I was kind of shocked that Lindsay Lohan even knew it was an election year, but whatever. You can read her rant here. She says (and I am paraphrasing here) that Palin is a narrow-minded homophobe who will set the women's lib movement into rewind mode (well, wouldn't that be a shame?). Lohan goes on to make fun of the fact that Palin's church promotes a conference that helps people come out of the darkness of homosexuality. Lindsay Lohan is deluded and just another reason why I am delighted to vote for McCain/Palin.

Last night on Fox, I watched clips of both Obama and McCain on "The View". Now if you have read this blog for any length of time, you know that I would rather have hemorrhoid surgery as watch one episode of The View. The View ranks right up there with Jerry Springer in my opinion - trash TV at its worst. Here is a clip of John McCain on the "the View" and here is a clip of Obama on The View......If that doesn't show media bias, then nothing does! Obama picked up $9 million from Hollywood hot shots this week which is another reason I am delighted to cast my vote for John McCain --- he is not backed or puppeted by Hollyweird.

Tomorrow and Saturday, I will be slaving in the hot sun placing mulch around our new house. Is there a such thing as a "mulch fairy"? If you know of one, would you please tell me how to get in touch with him/her/it ?

On a similar note, if you know the "House Cleaning Fairy", the "House Building Fairy", or the "Weight Loss Fairy" I would appreciate your putting in a good word for me with them as well.

Our fundraiser is over. We are out $79, but I am sure it will all be worth it when we receive our cheap jewelry and cookie dough. By the way, Daddy, you owe me $9 for some candy we bought in your name honor. Don't think of it as being out $9, think of it as a $9 donation to your grandchild's happiness. And really, you came out better than the rest of the family --- Lisa spent $32 and Mom spent $20 and I won't even tell you what Mammaw spent (let's just say we will be eating cookies at her house for years)---- so you got a bargain and some chocolate turtles too (if they are still here by the time you come back to visit ;-).

While I am typing this, Kaden is in the living room playing in the floor with some cars and little toy men. I just heard him say (as if one of the toy men were talking to another), "Can you believe he can run like that after all these years?". Then, he says (again one toy man to another) "You can hardly walk - you need a Hover Round" . Then a few seconds later, he said "After these messages we'll be right back."..........wonder if I should limit his TV watching?

This morning when I took Lake to school, the temperature outside was 57 degrees. We haven't seen 57 degrees since May! Usually I am so excited about fall, I start putting out pumpkins in early September. Fall is my favorite time of year. This year; however, a little bit of my fall joy has been stolen by the fact that my house is a wreck in anticipation of our move to the new house (which my husband assures me will be sometime before Christmas .......2009!!!!). I just cannot get excited about seeing my fall decorations sitting beside roofing and hardwood floor samples -- call me crazy.

Have I told you about my love for candy corn pumpkins (aka "Mellowcreme Pumkins)? I heart them so much I could eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner...........they are fat free ya know. And anything that is fat free will not make you fat. Even if you are already fat. I know it's true. I just know it.

In case you were wondering, I am still sick of blogs that paint a perfect picture of perfect families with perfect lives that never have any trouble and everything is sunshine and roses everyday of their lives. To those people I say, "You are not fooling anyone. We know you use your blog to perpetuate a lie about your life. We all know that your kids do not obey you. We know that your husband gets on your last nerve. We know that is a picture of you before you had kids. Get over yourself!". Sorry, I just had to throw that out there.

Have I mentioned that my husband thinks I am as strong as any man? He has no doubt in my ability to lift objects that are way too heavy for any woman to lift. Now, I will admit I am FREAKISHLY strong, much stronger than I look, actually, but I have my limits. This week alone, I have lifted a solid cherry door, bathroom vanities, heavy wooden chairs, and trashcans filled to overflowing with wood scraps. What am I, Chuck Norris?

Did I tell you that I truly have a memory problem? I cannot remember ANYTHING!!!! Just this morning, I spent 20 minutes on hold with the company where we order our checks inquiring about why we had not yet received the checks I ordered a month ago only to find out that we received those checks a week and a half ago. If anyone is familiar with the "Memory Fairy".........

Time for me to go and play with the munchkin....After these messages, I'll be right back.


Anonymous said...

Are you talking about me? :)

My life IS perfect! And that really is a picture of me AFTER kids too! :)

I wanna come stay at your house when it's all finished.

donnaj said...

Wow! Guess i can't complain about not having time to post on my blog. I could be the cleaning fairy, but sous like too much mess for even your clean-freak Mom. If I were you, I'd just play with the munchkin and put everything else on hold! Pretty soon the weather won't let you go play outside (best excuse to not work I could think of!).

Eddie said...

How in the world can you think of that much to say at 5:57AM? You went from A to "be right back" and didn't miss a beat. You need to tell my son in law that you are not a weight lifter. Next he will want you lift your furniture to the seventh floor of your house. Can you really get your furniture in the elevator? Lady, your amazing and you even find time to play with munchkin. I knew you come from good stock. Your a real dads girl.

Jackie said...

OH ! I so love the orange pumpkin candies too! I have some sitting out in a dish on my counter now ! Well, not too many, because I keep going to the dish & popping 1 or 2 into my mouth. :-)
I could eat the entire bag in one day.
(I don't & I won't, but I could).

Jackie (Marion, IN)

Mommyluann said...

I'm with your can you think of this much ANY time of the day!?

Cassie said...

Candy corn AND pumpkins...Yummy!!! There is one more thing we have in common girl...If you find out about any of the "fairies" you requested...please let me know..i am in need of the "roof fairy"...Hee hee....Let's get to football practice....

Mari said...

I'm so sick of Hollywood and the media playing favorites and telling people who to vote for!

alliekat said...

I don't want to hear anymore "comments", "jokes", or "ribbing" about my memory problems.

Fran said...

How about the "don't lose my mind" fairy?? ;)

You know I love ya and wish I could help you in any way I can. But, for now, I'm just your BFF through a computer! Thats funny isn't it?

I've been on hold before and totally forgot who I was holding for once they answered.

And, Hover Round's totally make me laugh...not sure why. Maybe the name, maybe I want one. I don't know.

Hugs..sleep well, you deserve it.
Waiting for the Shout too,

Greg P. said...

Does anyone know a hair fairy?

Or would that be a ....Hairy Fairy?

ocean mommy said...

"hover rounds" That is so funny! He sounds like my Emma. She is a walking commercial...and she doesn't watch that much t.v.!

If you find the mulch fairy, send her to GA....I've got some work she can do...

Have a wonderful weekend!

Carol said...

I think you should be a talk show host. Seriously. You can talk about anything and make it entertaining. LOL. I watched McCain on the view but I couldn't get Obama's to load. That show is very liberal.

Sandi Hixson said...

first of all...i am so embarrassed to be showing 5 times in a row...visiting your blog.......i don't even know why that happens except that i am computer illiterate and can't get some things to work right......and had to try many times to reach your comment REALLY i am not stalking you!....however, i sure do enjoy your every NEW post!!!
i sooooo agree with all your opinions! panties are in such a knot over this political stuff....why, i nearly climbed my walls when i saw THE VIEW....they showed both McCain's visit and Michelle"s visit on Fox last night......those VIEW women are VULTURES at best...
we certainly need to be on our knees, huh?

Anonymous said...

Hey BethAnne..Your so funny..Even though we don't agree on politics, we do agree on a few other things..L.Lohan she's been gay for 15 min, and already has an oppinion..I actually Love Sarah Palin..I wish she was running for President vs. McCain..

I as well HATE THE VIEW..and hated it worse when ROSIE ODONNELL was on it.

My husband also thinks I can lift furniture like a man..I lifted my part of a lazyboy reclining couch that weighed a ton yesterday..He said that was Heavy, yeah really, How do you think I felt?

People who paint the "Perfect Life" we'll come on..Whatever..They Fool NoOne! and unfortantly I can't remember the rest, so Im done for now..

Shelley Hendrix said...

Oh girl--you crack me up. Just yesterday Jackson was telling me all about the Life Alert that hangs around your neck in case of emergencies like heart attacks. Except he had the script down verbatim. funny.
And, you're SO right about bloggers who paint a picture of perfection in their lives through their blog posts--we know that is just their way of coping with the reality they actually live in. Bless their hearts. Maybe one should start a Meme entitled "Get Real", hmmm...I dare you!

Kelly S. said...

First let me say that you are dead WRONG on a very important issue.....The View is WORSE than Jerry Springer on any day. Elisabeth, honey we appreciate your effort--but life is too short. If they treat her like they do their guest with different "views", that must be a terrible job. She should get her own show, and abc can let Charles Gibson take her place.

well, my next thought was about patience and how profound makrothumia was to me. But, as I am reading back over my tirade on abc, I'm thinking that might be a index card I need to revisit.
Have Mercy!

nancygrayce said...

OH, if you want real, you'll have to swing on by my blog! First of all I'm a dysfunctional person me and all my closet friends are totally dysfunctional! I do have a good husband though, of course he's not my first, see there you go, real as rice!

Heidi Zawisza said...

Okay, coming back to blog world now, and OF COURSE you are the first on my list to visit. I checked out The View interviews.....WHAT A CROCK!!
Oh, and I am also still in your corner about "fake blogs"...and well, pretty much everything else too!! ha!ha!ha!
Glad to be back, and glad to be stalking your life again........
Later gator!!

Alana said...

I kind of doubt anyone will be taking Lindsay's warning on Palin, too seriously.

Pretty soon all your hard work with the house will pay off!