Are You A Doubter / Denier?

I am always kind of fascinated by Peter (ie. I think I am somewhat like him). Peter left everything and followed Jesus. He was amazed as He watched Jesus teach and heal. He saw miracles happen right before His very eyes. He saw Jesus heal a man with leprosy, he saw Him heal the man with the withered hand, he heard the Beattitudes straight from the mouth of God, he saw Jesus raise the widow's son from the dead, he saw demons cast into pigs, he saw Jesus heal the woman with the issue of blood, and he saw Jairus' daughter brought back to life--and those are just a few of the miracles Simon Peter watched Jesus perform. Peter was actually there in the flesh when history was made. He saw it with his own eyes - his faith WAS sight (can't wait for my faith to become sight, how 'bout you?).

There are two stories about Peter that puzzle me. The first is when Peter and the disciples were out fishing and weren't catching any fish. Luke 5:5-7 tells us that "Simon said, "Master, we've been fishing hard all night and haven't caught even a minnow. But if you say so, I'll let out the nets." It was no sooner said than done—a huge haul of fish, straining the nets past capacity. They waved to their partners in the other boat to come help them. They filled both boats, nearly swamping them with the catch". In other words, Peter told Jesus, 'We have been fishing on our own all night and haven't caught anything, but I will let the nets down again if you say so'. Do you hear a note of doubt in his words? He had been fishing all night and had not caught one fish, so he didn't really believe that Jesus would be of any help. Peter knew in his heart that Jesus had the power to do ANYTHING, but his mind caused him to doubt. Oh how much like Peter I am. I know that Jesus can do anything in my heart, but my intellectual side causes me to doubt Him time and again.

The funny thing about this particular story is that even though Peter doubted Jesus he obeyed. Peter focused on the command and not the promise. Peter doubted, but he obeyed and his nets came back full to overflowing. If only I could be more like that. Even when my mind causes me to doubt, I need to obey in order to get the blessing. What a great reminder this is for me today! Thank you Lord for letting me open up Your word to the book of Luke!

The other story about Peter that puzzles me is over in Luke 22, where Peter denies Christ. In Luke 22:31-32 Jesus basically tells Peter that his faith is going to fail. Then Peter says (my paraphrase) 'Lord, I would go to jail for you or even DIE for you' (ironic, huh?). At which time Jesus tells Peter that he will deny Him three times that very day. This same Simon Peter who had seen all the miracles and had listened to all the teaching, would deny that he even knew who Jesus was. The same Peter who cut the ear off the soldier who wanted to arrest Jesus is now saying "Jesus? Nope, don't know him". Amazing.

I hate to admit it, but I have so much 'Simon' in me. I have seen God do wondrous things in my life and in the lives of others, yet I still doubt Him. God has blessed me until my nets have almost broken, yet I still question His ways. Oh, I may never have actually said to someone 'I don't know Jesus' like Peter did, but my actions sometimes might say just that to others who don't really know me. I suppose Simon Peter's actions puzzle me so because I see so much of myself in him. I pray that like Peter in that boat, I will focus on God's commands and do what He asks every time. Unlike Peter (before the resurrection), I want to know God's power and presence in my heart AND in my head. I never want to be a 'doubter or denier'. Never.