The Spotlight

The Bible I study out of is well worn and all the pages have been marked up and written on - part of Exodus is hanging on by a thread, the binding is coming apart and several of the maps have had it. About a year ago, I bought a small Bible to carry to church with me. Alot of Sundays I am by myself with two little boys and it is difficult to carry my study Bible. I bought this cutsie little Bible to make it easier for me on Sunday mornings (and it's my favorite color ORANGE). The first Sunday I used that little Bible I remember thinking that people were looking at me as if I wasn't as 'spiritual' since I had a little tiny Bible that had obviously never been opened. I was actually worried that people would think I don't study my Bible or God forbid that they think I was new to the church! Everyone knows that a worn Bible with lots of hand-written notes means you have a special place in heaven, right? I know it sounds silly, but it is the honest truth and I am ashamed of myself for even thinking that way.

Have you ever known anyone whose greatest desire is to be seen? I am talking about the person who lives to be noticed and thrives on trying to impress everyone. I know several people like that. One person in particular comes to mind and I have to admit, I have some 'not so holy' feelings toward her. This is a person who serves in several ministries of the church, many of which are very public ministries where she can be seen often. I admit that when I see her in the spotlight, I feel as though she is there for personal attention and not to bring glory to God. I will be totally honest, for the past 6 years, I have viewed this person as a complete fake. To make things even worse, the Lord has put us together in several church activities over the years. You have no idea how many times I have come home from church whining because I had to work on a project with her AGAIN. Sometimes I am not amused by God's sense of humor.

It's funny how the Lord will repeat Himself over and over to us until we finally answer Him. I have been really convicted lately because of my feelings about this person because even though I see her as a person who serves to get attention, I do believe she is saved. I believe she is my sister in Christ-- my attention craving, self-serving, 'look at me -look at me' sister in Christ. Anyway, in my Bible study the other day Priscilla Shirer tells of a time when she did something strictly to get the praise of others. Then she asks the question: How do you feel when you see another woman who obviously seeks attention for herself? The next question is: What might the Holy Spirit save us from when He prompts us not to seek attention for ourselves?

When I read the first question, I of course had this same person in my mind - she is someone I see every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night. As I thought about the answer, the Holy Spirit brought another person to my mind - the person I see every time I look into the mirror.

See, I may not do all the very public things this person does, but I also do things that steal the glory from God. God is not in the glory-sharing business - He wants all the glory. I don't deserve any glory, yet there are times when I have the 'look at me, look at me' attitude as well. I like to have people pat me on the back as much as the next person. The reality is that my flesh desires the glory that belongs to God alone. I wonder if I would be so eager to take a meal to a SS class member, or bring gifts to needy children, or serve in the nursery if no one knew about it. I wonder if I would be so quick to volunteer for jobs in the church (or at my son's school for that matter) if I knew there would be no one there to say 'thank you'.

1 Corinthians 3:3 says, "For you are still controlled by your sinful nature. You are jealous of one another and quarrel with each other. Doesn’t that prove you are controlled by your sinful nature? Aren’t you living like people of the world?" Paul says proof that we are controlled by our sinful nature is that we are jealous and argue with our brothers and sisters in Christ. To that list couldn't we add that another proof we are controlled by our sinful nature is that we steal God's thunder every chance we get? God tells us in Genesis that Eve's desire would be for her husbands position. In the garden, when the snake came to Eve, he tempted her with the promise that if she ate the fruit, she would know everything that God knows. Yep, we glory stealers have a long history. I think when we get to heaven most of us will be eager to talk to our Bible heroes. There will be a long line to get to talk to John and Paul, but I am pretty sure there will be no line to talk to Eve.

I have asked to be forgiven for my terrible thoughts/attitude toward this sister that I have mentioned, because I do believe she is also a child of God. In Acts 9:4 Jesus says, "Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?" In other words, when you come against God's people, you come against God Himself. So, I think it is important to hold our brothers and sisters in Christ up instead of tearing them down because what we do to our brother, we do to Jesus (and really, haven't we already put Him through enough?). Besides, who am I to judge the thoughts/actions of anyone else? I am the only one who answers for me and I have to remember that if I am going to attempt to do great things for God, my greatest desire HAS to be for Him to be honored. Humility should be the rule of the day every day. After all, I was called to be a servant not a celebrity and I should act accordingly.