I Got Nothin'

Hello to all my blog buddies!!! I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Ours was pretty uneventful (unlike the weekend of some people who spent their time in San Antonio without yours truly). I would love to be able to say that I have a ton of wonderful things to tell you, but the truth is --- I got nothin'. So, you all know what that means right??? (HINT: This is the point at which many of you click the little back arrow at the top left corner of your screen so you can make a quick getaway before your eyes behold the randomness ahead).................

I got a voicemail from my dad this morning. He said the following: "Hey honey, we are here in Panama City. The weather is beautiful, the beach is beautiful and we are in the 23rd floor penthouse condo. It's awesome. Call me when you get this message" To which I said "What? That is soooo not fair!!!". Love his heart, he had no idea that his call would provoke his child to anger. I would call that a sin of omission, wouldn't you? But a sin nonetheless. I mean here I am doing the same old same old while he is frolicking on the beach in sunny Florida. The TRULY sad part for everyone involved is that I am not there with him. No really , my dad is taking a well-deserved vacation in Florida in a nice condo before coming to my house (aka. The Stye) to stay for a few days. He gets to vacation on the beach while I am here trying to clean up this mess so he can visit without actually hurting himself on the overabundance of toys in my house. I have always been told life is not fair, guess it's really true.


This morning I made my almost daily trip to the Wal-Mart (yes, I said "The Wal-Mart" - all Southerners say "The Wal-Mart"). As I was on my way out (having only spent $23.03, which is a miracle straight from God), I noticed a big sign right there in front of McDonald's (which we are still boycotting). The sign showed some faintly familiar faces. Men about my age. And in big letters on the top of the sign were the also faintly familiar words "NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK". I walked past and then it hit me that I just read the words New Kids on the Block - all in one sentence together.....then I realized why those men's faces looked so familiar. I spent much of my Freshman year in High School singing with them(into my curling iron not in person). If I had a dollar for every time I sang "Please Don't Go Girl" or "Hangin' Tough" with Donnie Wahlberg and The New Kids, I would be rich!! Rich, I tell ya!!! Yep, they were cool back in the day, but sadly that day is over. It is time to move on. They are no longer the New Kids, they are not EVEN kids anymore. Time to let go before they embarrass themselves - before they embarrass the rest of us who thought they were once so cool. Let go New Kids, let go before you become "The Old Kids on the Geriatric Floor"!!!

I have decided to begin eating healthier. So, yesterday I started writing down everything I eat. By my calculations, I ate 1130 calories yesterday. I think I normally take in somewhere around 8500, so 1130 makes for one unhappy, hungry girl. I get cranky when I don't have sugar (and bread). It makes me sad that there are Chips, Dip, M&M's, Cheetos, sugary cereals of all kinds and other chocolate confections in my kitchen that I cannot have. It is like having a friend in the next room, but not being able to talk to them. I have discovered that junk food has been a friend to me. A very close friend. I know it has only been one day (and a half), but I miss my friends. I miss my friends.......

Apparently second grade isn't what it used to be. When I was in second grade, we read, we wrote, we did simple math......yeah, that was in the good old days. Modern day second grade is more like high school. There is a lot of homework and a lot of stress. Whatever happened to the days when a kid could go to school and then come home and just play? So much for the carefree days of childhood. I fear they are gone forever and my kid is only 7.

Did ya'll know the Democratic Convention is going on in Denver? Yeah, I don't care either.

Last night on the 10 o'clock news, there was a story about the Dem. Convention in Denver (or as I like to call it "The Colorado Council of Evil" - I think their motto should be "The Antichrist May Be in Our Midst"). The story was showing Hillary making a rebuttal to a comment from the McCain camp. It seems that McCain is highlighting how Hillary vilified Obama during her bid for the Democratic nomination. We all know how dirty that campaign was, right? Somehow when she lost, Hillary immediately found love and respect for Obama - I have actually expected to see them kissing or something gross like that. ANYWAY, When McCain questioned Hillary about her prior negative comments regarding Obama, she said 'I cant believe that he is only focusing on the negative things instead of all the positive things I said about Barack Obama'. Did anyone ever hear her say anything positive about Obama during the time she was campaigning? THEN, to top it all off, she told reporters that she had been a long time supporter of Obama. Ummmm, is it just me or does that Clinton family have a different definition of truth than the rest of the world????

I am sick of seeing the term "VEEP". Veep ain't even a word, people. And yes, I know aint isnt a real word either, but it is more of a real word than VEEP.

Okay, so on Saturday, my baby who is 4, began riding his bicycle without training wheels. I hate to sound proud, but I am. I am not really sure at what age most kids lose the training wheels, but 4 seems pretty good to me. If your children started riding their 2 wheeled bikes at the age of 2, then I really don't want to hear about it. Thank you.

I have had several recurring dreams since I was little (I wont mention all of them - there are many and they are insane). In one of the dreams, I am on a bus going down a hill in Bristol (for you locals it is the hill going onto Volunteer Pkwy from TN High - not that it matters I just wanted to include you in my dream as much as possible). When the bus I am on gets close to the bottom of the hill we see that there is deep water and we are headed straight for it. In the past, the bus has never actually made it into the water. Last week, I had this same dream and the bus hit the water and sank. Any Joseph's out there want to tell me what it means that I have had this dream for 30 years and the outcome has finally changed? And I would appreciate if you would not mention the words 'lunatic' ,'crazy', etc. in your response.

As I type this, Kaden is in the living room watching "The Incredibles" for the three thousandth time, which made me remember that we actually borrowed that movie from my sister about a year ago. Good thing she doesn't charge a late fee, huh?

I have heard that stress will kill you, my husband and I are testing that theory out right now. For those of you who are thinking of building a house, my recommendation is to purchase a preexisting home. You may save money as well as your sanity.

The bricklayers are at our new house finishing our porches today. It has not rained here in quite some time. Today of course, when our brick porches are supposed to be finished, the forecast says rain. That, my friends, is the story of my life summed up in three sentences.

I have noticed an influx of Muslims in our area lately. Big cities, yes. Our small town....what???? Hopefully, being in the Bible belt will have influence them for Christ. I'll be honest, I dont think I know the best way to witness to a Muslim....guess I better get to studying, huh?

I could probably feed 1/2 of a third world country with the crackers, popcorn, cookies, etc that are between the cushions of my couch. When we move, the disgusting couch of which I speak, will be sitting out on our front lawn with a sign that says "FREE" on it. I might even leave the food between the cushions as an added bonus. If the new owners are lucky, they might also get the lost remote that I KNOW is somewhere hidden in the cushions of that couch.

The Olympics are over. I enjoyed them while they lasted, but am ready to move on. I am happy for Michael Phelps - we have not seen the last of him (but we HAVE seen a lot of him -literally). There are alot of things I will NOT miss about these XXIXXXIXXX (or whatever) Olympic Games. No more underage gymnasts who need a candy bar. No more seeing the gross foods that Chinese people consider delicacies (seriously those people eat everything). No more of that commercial about the 1st Olympics where the guy throws a shotput and knocks down The Temple of Diana. No more Bob Costas giving us a play by play. No more hype about the opening ceremonies. No more China on national TV every night (because we all know that China hates Christians). That, my friends, is a blessing.

Well, that is about enough for today (and tomorrow and the next day). I know very few of you made it to this point in this post.....and to you I say 'Thank You' for reading - everyone else has no idea what they missed..........