Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Expansion Joints and Suppositoriums

-No matter what California says, men cannot marry men and women cannot marry women. God set up that law from the beginning and even Arnold Schwarzenegger cant change that. (Besides that, the parts don't fit!)

-I have never had HBO, so I am not an expert, but I saw that the name of their old hit show is "Sex and the City" ---I always thought it was "Sex in the City". Either way, it is a strange name for a show.

-The only thing that overshadows my disgust for the price of groceries is the price of gas. I paid $5.25 for a gallon of milk yesterday. I paid $4.68 for a gallon of diesel. I think I might have to start drinking gas - it sure is cheaper than milk!

-One of the MSN news headlines today is : "Cringe Worthy: 15 Male Celebs that Are Too Painful to Watch" and beside the caption is a picture of Tom Cruise. It's so funny because it is so true. I am tellin' ya people, the worship of science fiction (scientology = science fiction made religion) will eventually turn you into a freak. Scientology is a religion made up by a science fiction writer....what could be more freaky that than?

-100+ two, three, and four year olds in VBS in our preschool dept. last night. That is a lot of preschoolers. I am the craft lady. I come up with the crafts, purchase the supplies and help the kids make the crafts with the help of a few other gals who are brave enough to volunteer. I wish my Easy Share software was working so I could show you a couple of the ones we did this year....they are great even if I do say so myself. ;-)

-I know things about building houses that a woman should not know. I should simply know paint colors and tile colors. I should never have to use the words "expansion joint" or 'rebar'. It is just plain wrong that I have been into stores that sell only supplies used to pour concrete - these places don't even have one thing sitting near the register that I would be tempted to buy.

-There are 2 types of parents. PARENT TYPE #1 The type that bring their kids to VBS so they can learn about Jesus (and they might even stay to help) PARENT TYPE #2 The type that bring their kids to VBS so that they can go on a date or so that they don't have to deal with their unruly kids for a couple of hours each night. Parent type #2 really gets on my nerves.

-My nails are not only ugly, they are dirty and I cant get them clean. Its a tragedy of epic proportions. I feel like Scarlet O'Hara in Gone with the Wind (only I didn't make a dress out of curtains). My personal hygiene is suffering due to circumstances beyond my control.

-There is a kid in our VBS named Bubba. Cute as he can be - blonde hair, dark tan, blue eyes - only in TN. (Or also maybe in AL, AR, LA, MS, GA, or TX - gotta love the south).

-Monday was my yearly visit to my favorite medical office. Nothing says "fun" like a Monday morning spent in the gynecologists office. Since my husband keeps hounding me to have another baby, I thought I would take the opportunity to ask about the risks for a woman who is 35 and semi-insane. My Dr. told me that since I am 35, I am now considered in the AMA category. What is AMA, you ask? Advanced Maternal Age. I was strangely offended by that term, but I did ask her to send me home with a Dr's excuse to give hubs so that I can get out of childbirth again.

-I am in love with shaved ice.

-Since learning on Monday that I am of Advanced Maternal Age, I have been noticing some signs that go along with my condition. I have seen some age spots on my face, I am tired all the time, and pretty irritable too. They say your eyesight is the first thing that goes, or is is your hearing? Cant remember. ;-)

-Have I mentioned that I am not an Obama fan, yet I fear that he will be our President for the next 8 years? If I haven't mentioned that before, let me mention it now.

-You know those little pink and white cookies that are shaped like animals and have those little colored round sprinkles on them? I love 'em.

-Having seen my picture (and some of you having seen me in person), does anyone have any pictures or suggestions for a hair change for me? I am willing to cut it, but not too short - chin length is my limit or I am willing to leave it the same length (shoulder) and have it styled differently. Please submit your suggestions in the comments section of this blog. Thank you for your time and more importantly "Thank you for your support".

-Remember the ants I told you about that have come back to their summer home, which is also my home? Had the exterminator come last Thursday. He said not to worry if they get worse before they get better because that is normal. Unfortunately, they have gotten worse and it is almost a week later! These ants love their summer home - who knew our house was a virtual tropical paradise for so many - we dont even have a pool (or a large bathtub for that matter). Called the exterminator back.......he will be coming on Friday morning. All I can say to those ants is: At least you will die in a place that you love.

-Can anyone help me understand atheism? I am having a hard time with it. On the other blog that I blog on (say that real fast 10 times) there are a lot of angry/semi-militant atheists who say 'not so nice' things. I think I will come up with a whole post about their arguments. If there is one thing those atheists love, its a good argument. I really do not believe that there is a such thing as an atheist. Why, you ask? Well, let me tell you. To be an atheist, you say that there is no God. To say such would make you all-knowing, and we all know that no human is all-knowing. So, really there is no such thing as an atheist. Maybe agnostic, but not atheist. They all use the same arguments over and over - it's like they go to school for it. That's it, I think they all go to "satan's Day School For Atheists". Anyway, I think it takes a lot more faith NOT to believe in God than it does to believe. Most atheists believe in evolution. Now which takes more faith: To believe that the whole world evolved from a slimy puddle of goo or that there is a Creator that made everything? Everything I have ever seen has a creator. If I get angry comments from God-haters because of this - don't worry, I am used to them.

-Yesterday, Kaden had to use the bathroom and wouldn't, so Lake looked at me and said "You should give him a suppositorium".

-I am behind on my blog reading - a little busy over here, please forgive me. I am off to work at the new house. When we move in I wonder if we will still call it "the new house"? I suppose I wont have to worry about that for a long time - ugh! Anyway, thank you for reading my ramblings (except those of you who skipped to the bottom -to you guys I say - I hate you missed all the exciting, juicy stuff in the middle ;-) Have a wonderful Thursday!


Eddie said...

Amazing how old age causes you to ramble on and on and on and on and on! OH, your the best. Love Dad

Anonymous said...

Just for you-----tomorrow I will post a picture of the new me! :)

By the way, I'm 32 and just recently noticed age spots in the last month or two on my face too. (it's from all those years "baking" in the sun as a teenager!) Ugh! If only I was smart enough to use sunscreen----you bet I do now!

I just had my nails painted today by a friend. I'll have to post that too-----actually, I'll have to post Madeline's toes that she painted as watermelon's! Too cute-----you need another baby so you can enjoy a girl! :) AMA----ha!

Anonymous said...

Oh and I did drop another 5 pounds (and went down another half a size) since I posted last so I can squeeze into a size 4 now too!

Wanna come smack me yet? :)

Greg P. said...

You gave me a few good laughs for the morning.

That's OK that you know construction terms more than most women. Now if your husband gives you a tool belt for your birthday, don't buy shoes to match.

Rochelle said...

This was a great post!! And your dad's comment made me lol too!

Mommyluann said...

My thoughts:

Amen on the marriage thingy....

You are a better woman than I on the house thing.

I won't help you get an excuse for the childbirth thingy..I was 35 with Daniel and turned 36 the next day and 37 with Sean. You are in great shape....so I'm with Steve on this one! Forget that AMA thing as far as ruling it out!!! Unless you just don't have peace..many women have and deliver babies at 35and do GREAT! STill my friend??

I love the suppositorium word! Maybe Lake will write an updated dictionary!

Yes , on VBS subject. I asked Sean what he's learned this week and he say "Cowboys!" so we go over it each night that Cowboys are fun, but the Main reason is "Jesus". Now he says "Jesus AND COWBOYS"!

Eddie said...

Just a thought, maybe you should give Kaden the rebar and take a supositorium to the house. That might make both of you feel better.
Reckon? Love you bunches Dad

donnaj said...

There is no way to adequately comment on this post - from rebar to aethist to suppositorium to nails to hair to AMA (more info than a Mom wants to know. Wow! My child, you were wound up when you wrote this post. I loved it though!

ocean mommy said...

AMA???? WHAT!!!!

VBS sounds busy!

"suppositoriums" THAT is one word I will not forget! What a brother....

Kellie said...

The reason I love you is because you just say what is on your mind and that makes you "my kinda girl". Us prophets have to stick together. Oh yea, also, "YOU AIN'T RIGHT" ha ha ha

Oh, another thing, when you left me a comment yesterday and said "if Preston happen's to read my comments" well, he checked my email for me (unknowingly to me) last night and read your comment. So, I guess we could say "I told him"

Fran said...

WOW...you got a lot going on Bethanne. Amen on the marriage...
hope VBS has been a huge success....hang in there on the house thing, been there done that......another baby?? Whatever the good Lord lays on your heart.....get some rest this weekend if you can ok??


Earen said...

Wow..that was a fun read! I could probably comment on alot, but then I'd be writing a book in you comment section. Sounds like you're busy but doing well. I can't wait to see the finished result of your house and amen to the marriage issue...Oh, & if Obama because President..God help us all.