Monday, June 30, 2008

Famine, Pestilence, and War

So, several of you have commented on my new layout (okay actually just a couple of you, but I know that the thousands of people who read my blog daily -okay yearly - will love the new look - assuming it doesn't make your eyes go crossed or cause you to have unexplained seizures). If you don't like the new look, I am terribly sorry, but it will be a while until I can change it again...who has time for that? Which is exactly why I had the boring green and brown thing going on for so long......I have 2 small kids, we are building a house, etc, etc, etc.....I have no spare time!!! I can; however, change the font colors if they are not to your liking.....let me know if the text color is dark enough or if I need to kick it up a notch (no, really, please tell me - I can't even tell anymore).


Well, I told you I would be back with something blogworthy to report and once again.... I have lied. I suppose you read the title and thought I was going to go into a deep dissertation about the end times (which just happens to my favorite subject, btw). Sorry, not today (well, at least not right now anyway). This title is just a description of the things going on in my house today. Here is what I mean by the title:


Famine - We are upgrading our life insurance (so we can pay for this in the event of our untimely demise) and I could not eat anything since last night so the lady could come to my house and take my blood. Take out MY blood in MY own house. There is something strangely wrong with that. (Shouldn't things like drawing blood occur in a somewhat sterile environment? Apparently they do not fully comprehend the filth that lies within the walls of my home right now). The worst part was that she brought scales with her. The kind that have the HUMONGOUS read out on top. Nope, no mistaking how much I weigh. The even worse part is that I have not eaten since last night and I still weigh more than I thought I did. Are you EVEN kidding me????


Pestilence - Remember the ants I mentioned in several earlier posts? The ants that returned to their summer home which is unfortunately also my home? Remember that I called the exterminator and the ants were gone? Yeah, well they are back and have moved into my bathroom. There are so many houses that are nicer than mine, why do they insist on vacationing here? I am soooo calling the exterminator back today............


War - This morning, I took the boys to see the big concrete trucks that are pouring the concrete in the basement of our new house. On the way home, we stopped at the store to get milk and several other things that I could not eat until the lady came to drain me of all my life giving substance (why do they take blood out? - apparently we need it or God would not have put it in there). Anyway, my boys had a little showdown in aisle #3 of the Dollar General. It was a free for all - there was slapping and yelling weeping and wailing (and that was just from me). Needless to say everyone (except me) got a spanking and there were no treats for anyone (except me). That rarely happens around here so I thought I should write down the ugly details for future recall.


Well, that about sums up my day so far (and it's only 2 pm). Tonight we have a big t-ball game. If we win tonight, we play in the championship game. The coach of the team we are playing tonight is a real pain and he loves to yell at his team, our team, everyone. Hopefully, everyone will remember that we are talking about a team of 7 yr olds and not the Atlanta Braves.


Time to take the kids out to play in the hot TN sun.......glad I have my scooter! (okay, so it isn't really mine, whatever) ;-)


I promise to be back soon with something blogworthy to say............ ;-)

21 comments:

Mommyluann said...

you are always good for comic relief. my boys would NEVER act that way!!!!!!!!!!! nobody bringing scales to my house!!!!

Lisa said...

Nope - my son would never act like that in public!! LOL
Love the picture of your new home. It is beautiful. Is it in JC or outside the city?
Blessings,
Lisa

Amanda B. said...

Re: Your comments on my post...I have often thought how hard it must be to preach thinking that everyone probably knows what a phony you think you are...I'm glad Paul gave us this disclaimer...I wonder if I can get it to automatically post at the top of all my posts. (Okay...that's the word post one too many times in one sentence.)

Glad to know ALL children melt down in grocery stores...not just mine. Mine was apparently a terror in nusery yesterday, too...oh well...I'm about to reap all my complaining about how "other people don't raise their kids right" from my childless days.

Thanks for the laughs today!!

Rochelle said...

Okay... I am feeling guilty for getting so much laughter out of this post! LOL! Sorry for the grocery store fun to the ants... but thanks for posting about it! BTW - love the house!!

Heidi Zawisza said...

Totally love the new background!

The Brady's said...

Your so funny! I would have love to seen the showdown @ the Dollar General, it would have been so funny!

The Brady's said...

Your so funny! I would have love to seen the showdown @ the Dollar General, it would have been so funny!

Earen said...

I love your new layout! Oh, I know all to well the event at Dollar World. Isn't it just so fun!

Greg P. said...

The new blog format is much easier to read. I like the colors and the polka dots. Good job!

Carol said...

I love reading you. I know we would be good friends. Okay, the Dollar General fiasco? Happens three times a day at my house (probably more, I just don't want to admit that on the blog). ;) ~Carol

Fran said...

Yep. the format is good. the look is good. the font is good. the humor is excellent!!!

LynnSC said...

Love the new look of your page... just really jealous that you don't have to pay someone to do it like I do. LOL!

Scales... I don't even own a pair. But... it never ceases to amazed me at the doctors office... always more than I thought... and always more than the time before. How does that happen???

Continue having a great summer.
Lynn

Jennifer Partin said...

I love the polka dots......

Denise said...

the new look is great!

yes, blood taking and medical weigh- ins shouldn't be done in the home.
they're scales are ALWAYS wrong anyway.

have you tried Taro for the ants, it is better (and cheaper0 than any exterminator.

who determines what is "blog-worthy." maybe someone should write a blog-worthy ediquit book ( i cannot spell that word..i have problems already!).

Denise said...

their, not they're.
uggh!

ocean mommy said...

As usual, you make me smile!!!

I LOVE THE NEW LOOK!!!!!

And your ants...their GA cousins have decided to vacation in my kitchen. They arrived last night.

Alana said...

Oh, I remember that with the life insurance. I was pregnant and I was like, do you have to put down this weight? Can't we put down my normal weight? Yeah, she wasn't having any of it. The layout and text colors look great!

Heather said...

I LOVE the new look! We went through the life insurance thing about a year ago, except our bloodwork was at 4:00 p.m. They told me to fast ALL DAY. WHAT?!?!?! I had to have a little lunch (I was starving) and then my cholesterol numbers came back high. (Which they previously have not!) Grrr....all that stuff is a pain, but worth it I guess!!!
Happy 4th!

Sarah Markley said...

so cute! and i love the new polka dot look of your blog. the colors are so perfect!

Shelley said...

Beth--this is why I love you---you are a real person with real kids and you don't pretend you aren't. Thank you for being a place of refreshment for me today.

Love the polka dots, by the way. You inspired me to change things up at my spot. See what an inspiration you are?

Jeremiah said...

You are too funny! I really enjoy reading your blog!